[ No Audible Dialogue ]
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[ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ Ticking ]
[ Keys Rattling ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Water Running ]
[ Doorbell Rings ]
- Who is it? - [ Man ] My name is Watts.
I think I have something that belongs to you.
A silver pen with your name on it?
Where'd you find it?
You left it on the Manhattan Bridge about 45 minutes ago.
Thanks for your trouble. [ Exhales ]
Wouldn't you like to know what I was doing on the Manhattan Bridge at 1:00 a.m.?
No, frankly, I wouldn't.
If you don't mind, it's very late, and I'd like to go to sleep.
As a matter of fact, I was watching you dump somebody's body into the East River.
You're mistaken. That was old clothes.
Goodwill doesn't pick up anymore, you know?
Old clothes don't usually need a tire jack stuffed in with them to make sure they'll sink.
I was passing your building. I saw you putting the bag into the trunk of your car.
In my business, you learn to recognize the outline of a head and shoulders.
- So I followed you to the bridge. - Who are you?
A detective with the New York Police Department.
Very nice, the way you big deal Broadway composers live.
Who's that? Your father?
The greatest composer of music the American theater has ever produced-- George Gershwin.
Nice piano. How often do you have it tuned?
Whenever I have to.
And, uh, how often do you wash your candelabra?
Look, Mr. Watts, you have no basis for your accusation,
so I suggest that unless you have a warrant--
- [ Papers Rustle ] - Hmm.
[ Singsong ] "C", "C", "E", "E", "D", "E".
"C."
I always liked music. My family couldn't afford the lessons.
Oh, look at that.
Somebody spilled his bloody mary.
[ Chuckles ] You wouldn't have liked him.
He was a total slime.
You better get your coat, Mr. Gillespie.
- I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you downtown. - You like music?
What do you think of this?
? Balboa thought it was terrific ?
? When he discovered the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed the ocean blue ??
That's cute. Is it yours?
- It is, and it isn't. - What does that mean?
- Had a partner. His name was Jerry. - I remember.
You guys were together a long time.
Yeah, we split up six months ago. We decided to work on our own.
I signed on to do a musical with Logan Webb, the producer.
Logan is a very impatient man.
Jo-Jo, we've got to have those songs by Wednesday.
Couldn't you at least let me hear a couple of them?
Listen, Logan, when I was working with Jerry,
he used to show our stuff all over town before it was ready.
By the time people saw the show, they thought they were seeing a revival.
Now that I'm on my own, things are different. You will see the songs on Wednesday.
Laurie's heard the songs. Laurie, tell the man.
- Uh, it's-it's his best work ever, Mr. Webb. - There. See?
It'll be the only cast in history to get their songs on the first day of rehearsal.
[ Laurie ] Don't you ever do that to me again. He knew I was lying.
Honey, you were sticking up for your fella. Think of it as a higher form of truth.
You're the best, baby. You gonna eat those strawberries?
Look who's here, old tin ear. Don't you know you can't afford this table since we broke up?
- Hi, Jerry. Think of a rhyme for June yet? - Stop it, Jo-Jo.
- Hi, Laurie. - Hi, Jerry.
I understand you're going to Aruba.
[ Jo-Jo ] Where did you hear that?
Carmen, the cleaning lady, of course.
I thought I'd take a little time off to be by myself.
You're by yourself now.
I think Carmen, the cleaning lady, should stick to her vacuum cleaning...
and stop acting like a gossip columnist.
- Why don't you fire her? - Why don't you?
- No, you fire her. - That's why she'll always work for both of you.
Face it, Jo-Jo, you'd be lost without her.
- He's right, Jo-Jo. You do depend on her. - What?
I do not depend on her for anything.
Who the hell's side are you on, anyway?
- [ Vacuuming ] - ?? [ Light ]
[ Ringing ]
Would somebody answer the phone, please? I am trying to work here.
Mr. Jo-Jo's apartment. This is Carmen speaking.
Ah, hello, Mr. Webb.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry. He just went out one minute ago.
But if you're calling about the songs, Mr. Webb,
they are the most beautiful songs I ever--
All right, Mr. Webb, I tell him.
Wednesday.
- [ Vacuuming Resumes ] - Well, you picked a great time, didn't you?
I've been working on this thing for three months,
and I don't have note one, and now you're leaving me.
Will you cut that thing off?
Honey, I'm so sorry I yelled at you.
I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure.
I've just gotta top Jerry with my show, honey.
Aw, sweetie, didn't we have a great time in Atlantic City?
? You got to admit it was pretty in old Atlantic City ?
- [ Slams ] - [ Bangs Keys ]
What's happening, Carmen? Where am I going wrong?
I can't seem to write anything. I've lost my girl.
Mr. Jo-Jo, last year, when my little Perrito disappear, somebody say to me,
"Why you no go see Sister Teresa? She find your dog for you."
Carmen, I can't deal with this psychic voodoo nonsense.
But Teresa find Perrito for me, Mr. Jo-Jo.
She cure Ramon's asthma,
and she make Carmen fall in love with Ah Fong.
For a while.
Yeah, uh, I-- I'm going for a walk, Carmen.
Make sure you lock up, all right?
[ Clears Throat ]
Um, Sister Teresa?
Either she will come back immediately, or she will never come back.
Who?
Oh, forget about Laurie. What about my music?
- I'm totally blocked. - Music?
No, no, I cannot help you. I am sorry.
Music is too dangerous, too painful and too unpredictable.
- Too painful? - Yes!
It requires a total possession by the spirit of the master.
It is exhausting.
I'm too old for it. I must ask you to leave.
Sister Teresa, you've gotta help me.
- No. - Music is my life!
I feel like I'm losing my talent.
Why can't I write anymore?
Please, you've got to help me!
[ Groans ]
[ Shrieks ]
[ Shrieking Continues ]
?? [ "Rhapsody In Blue" ]
So you dried up, huh? That's one thing that never happened to me.
I couldn't write 'em down as fast as I could think 'em up.
"Fascinating Rhythm," "The Man I Love"-- I never stopped.
And there's plenty more where that came from.
So what do ya need?
Well, uh, the opening tune. I need a snappy boy-girl duet.
He's a millionaire, and she's a reporter who--
Never mind the plot, nobody cares.
I got just the number. Listen to this.
? Balboa thought it was terrific ?
? When he discovered the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed the ocean blue ?
? And Marco Polo found China solo ?
? But I discovered you ?
? Remember Ferdinand Magellan ?
? He saw the straits and nearly fell in ?
? Cort�s found gold in old Peru ?
[ Male Singer ] ? Both Clark and Lewis ?
[ Female Singer ] ? Gave rivers to us ?
[ Together ] ? But I discovered you ?
- Not so fast. - Fabulous.
If the rest are as good as this, we've a hit.
Don't worry. I'm bringing in more tomorrow.
? Around your heart, dear ?
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
? They brought the bacon home to mama ?
? We give them credit where it's due ?
- ? Take Spain or Thailand ? - ? I'll stick with my land ?
? 'Cause I discovered you ??
Uh, Bob.
Terrific tune, huh, Alan?
Better than anything he wrote with Jerry.
I knew he wanted to get off on his own,
but, frankly, I didn't think he was this good.
- I don't think he is. - What do you mean?
I know Jo-Jo's style. I've played every show he did with Jerry Lane.
He can't write like this. I'm telling you. This is someone else's.
Why, Alan, I'd almost think you were jealous.
?? [ Ends ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
Dinner for one again, huh, Jer?
Jo-Jo, did you know our shows are opening the same night?
No, I heard your show was in trouble. I thought you had a little book problem.
Really? I heard you were having trouble coming up with the tunes.
Time to dip into the old trunk, eh, Jo-Jo?
Trunk, schmunk! They're the best tunes I've ever written.
I'd love to play you one, except you'd steal it.
Oh, you're right.
You always were the one with the best ideas, the most... talent.
Would you do me a favor? Would you listen to one of my songs?
- From your actual show? - Mm-hmm. I'd like an honest opinion.
It's the love song.
? You're my anything Whatever you want to be ?
? Be anything and be it eternally ?
It's really just great, Jer. I love that.
? You're sexy, you're smart ?
? You're the Earth and the moon ?
? The sand and the dune and the sea ??
I'm moved, Jer. I'm really moved.
- ?? [ Piano ] - [ No Audible Dialogue ]
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
? Ticklish toes That's how it goes ?
? Ticklish toes in my socks ?
? Ticklish toes Nobody knows ?
? Ticklish toes Oh, what shocks ?
? You've got me hoppin' ?
? Each evening till 3:00 ?
? Ticklish toes Ticklish toes ?
- [ Inaudible ] - ? Ticklish toes Keep dancin' with me ??
- [ Groans ] - [ Thud ]
Oh, that was really good, George. Only two more to go.
Mr. Jo, you must go home. This is killing me.
I told you. Music always do this to me.
My heart-- My heart can't stand this.
Teresa, we're so close. Don't fail me now.
- Pepi. Pepi! - Forget Pepi!
George, do you hear me? George, we only have two more songs left!
- [ Teresa ] Pepi! - You must go now, Mr. Jo.
- Go? - Can I have the $15?
Listen, sonny. I gotta have one more session with your mommy.
I don't care what it costs. I'll give you, uh-- I'll give you $100.
I gotta have two more songs.
A hundred dollars?
You call back tomorrow, okay?
God bless you. I will never forget you.
[ Kisses ] I love you.
Ethics? What are you talking about? Ethics.
I'm talking about representing yourself as the composer of another man's work.
This is none of your business, Alan!
Is that what you're going to say to Logan Webb?
You make me sick, Jo-Jo.
For eight years now, I have watched you ride Jerry Lane's coattails,
and steal ideas from every composer in this town.
But this time, you're not going to get away with it.
It's time somebody blew the whistle on you, and I am just the guy who--
[ Sighs ] Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
[ Grunting ]
Oh.
- [ Panting ] - [ Splashes ]
? You got me hoppin' each evenin' till 3:00 ?
? Ticklish toes Ticklish toes ?
? Ticklish toes Keep dancin' with me ??
Well, great stuff, huh? Hell, I'm the new Gershwin.
Oh, this show is gonna run for years.
How much can a guy make on a show that runs for years?
On my last show, I was making, uh, about 10,000 a week.
Oh, more than I could possibly spend.
Tell me, Watts, how would you like to acquire an interest in a hit Broadway show?
Meet a lot of pretty girls, find a dividend check in your mailbox every month?
It wouldn't cost you a thing.
I've always loved show business.
Enough to forget what you saw on that bridge tonight?
What do you say? Ten percent of my share?
Half of your share? I don't see how I could refuse.
It's nice to know greed isn't confined to the arts.
- Then it's a deal. - Mmm.
I think I'd like a drink. How about some champagne?
I think a toast is in order.
Your friend Jerry has stars in his eyes.
The theater's been good to you boys.
The muses are fickle, Watts.
Let's see if he has stars in his eyes when his rotten show opens next week.
[ Cork Pops ]
Did you ever have one of those days?
Life is unpredictable, isn't it?
And the muses are fickle.
If I Discovered You should turn out to be a disappointment at the box office--
- Yes? - Naturally, our deal is off.
I'll drink to that.
This is Trish Tarleton, Entertainment Tomorrow.
We're here at Sordi's, talking to two songwriters...
who used to be Broadway's hottest team.
- Fellas, what happened? - I'll tell ya what happened, Trish.
I was sitting at the piano one day,
and I saw this guy asleep on the couch, as usual.
I said, "For this I'm giving up 50%?"
Well, I'm not going to stoop to Jo-Jo's level of personal vindictiveness.
But, uh, let me just say that after five years of his irresponsibility,
his pettiness, and his incipient alcoholism--
Oh, uh, don't forget to mention nail biting.
And now each of you has a show opening exactly one week from tonight.
No, that's really not quite accurate, Trish.
I have graciously decided to postpone the opening of my show for one night.
[ Jerry ] Oh, really?
Well, that way the critics can cover both shows. How nice.
Now, Jerry, I understand you've got something else to celebrate.
Isn't there an engagement in the wind?
Oh, well, Trish, no secret is safe from you, is it?
There's the lucky young lady right there.
- Laurie McNamara. - [ Jo-Jo ] What?
You creep. How long has this been going on?
- About a year. - [ Sighs ]
I'm counting on an early dinner tonight.
- How come? - The show will probably close at intermission.
I'm sure Jerry's score is a real piece of... cake.
- Hey, Jer. - Hi, Jo-Jo, glad you could make it.
- [ Shutters Clicking ] - I cannot wait to hear "You're My Anything" tonight.
What? [ Chuckles ] Oh, that!
You're such a jerk. That was a joke!
[ Jo-Jo ] You invited Carmen to your opening?
Well, sure. She's part of the family.
- [ Man ] Curtain going up. - Oh. Oh, go ahead.
I'll see you inside.
[ Instruments Tuning ]
Teach me about show business.
Why did you let Jerry open his show before yours?
Well, because my success will taste sweeter in the wake of his failure.
I hope you brought something interesting to read.
?? [ Orchestra ]
That sounds familiar.
Sister Teresa? What is she doing here?
? Balboa thought it was terrific ?
? When he discovered the Pacific ?
? Columbus sailed the ocean blue ?
[ Male Singer ] ? And Marco Polo ?
[ Female Singer ] ? Found China solo ?
[ Together ] ? But I discovered you ?
Jo-Jo, what's our song doing in this show?
I have no idea. Where are you going?
To cancel our opening, and to call my lawyer.
One of you guys is in big trouble.
? Consider Hudson and da Gama ?
? They brought the bacon home to mama ?
? We give them credit where it's due ?
Listen, Watts, this doesn't mean-- We still have a deal, right?
The muses are fickle, Jo-Jo.
? I'll stick with my land 'cause I discovered-- ?
? I hereby plant the flag ?
? Yes, I discovered you ??
[ Cheering ]
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